My Healing Testimony:
One of the most powerful areas of God’s power being real in our lives through the Holy Spirit is in the area of physical healing. Healing. A word used sometimes in a nonchalant way, but power-packed for those of us who have experienced illness or disease firsthand! Healing is a physical manifestation in our minds and bodies of the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus on the cross! In other words, when we have struggled for some time with a malady, we are good and ready to be rid of the infliction. Say for instance, you’ve had massive migraine headaches a couple of times a week for a month now. These headaches are debilitating, grounding you to your dark, silent room and disabling you from your life as you normally know it. Your children are fending for themselves, the house is a mess, and you are miserable. This sickness has you in its grasp…or so you thought!
Let me tell you a story, a story of disaster and disease, rejection and abandonment, but ultimately, of hope and grace and HEALING in our Savior!
Through a series of events in which I made some wrong choices, my husband Juan and I divorced in December of 2006 after almost ten years of marriage, three young children, and oh, incidently, we were Christians. We separated in September of that year, and I began to walk further and further away from a lifelong, deep relationship with God. I was making confused decisions out of rejection, guilt, and shame. Meanwhile, I was working several jobs to make ends meet and living in sin and rebellion, which resulted in the breaking down of my body and mind.
Weakened, both physically and in soul, I believe I “opened a door” to Satan, allowing him to have total access to my heart and health. God is clear about the “curse” of forsaking Him as our God and choosing instead to live in sin and disobedience to Him and His Word. (Deuteronomy 28:20-) The three key things that the curse brings to our lives is 1. Poverty, 2. Sickness/Disease and 3. Spiritual Death. As I look back on that time in my life, I can see that I was clearly walking in disobedience to God, especially since I grew up knowing Him and had served him my whole life. Hence, the open door to Satan, who of course, jumped on that opportunity!
Consequently, I began struggling with a terrible nervous disorder in January of 2007 which left me jobless, homebound (I couldn’t drive due to the possibility of seizures), and practically without family and friends for a long while. Blessedly, there was no physical pain associated with this illness, but the emotional and spiritual toll it took on me was so awful, I can’t even begin to describe it in words. My young children were terrified of both my weird behavior and the seizures that were occuring, I was hallucinating on the medication, and my ex-husband (at the time!) couldn’t bear to be around me. So he took legal action and had my children removed from me and my house. Subsequently, I slipped even deeper into anxiety, depression, and hopelessness. My children had become the only reason I had to live, and now I couldn’t even see them.
At this time, I began to seek God again, but I experienced no answer immediately. I know now that he couldn’t reach me until I repented, and I was still clinging to my sin out of desperation and loneliness. However, I could increasingly feel my physical heart breaking into little pieces, pulling at the muscles and nerves inside my chest cavity. My heart was literally breaking, and I had never, ever felt such sadness and hopelessness as I did at that time in my life.
One day, alone on my couch, depressed and desperate for a change in my life, I cried out to Him like never before. I had finally used up any strength I though I had on my own, and I repented, needing Him in my life just to keep breathing! At that moment, He spoke to me, and my mind, body, and Spirit were instantly flooded with comfort and acceptance! I realized He had never left me, he just can’t commune with sin, so our relationship, just like my marriage, was broken. Communication had been stopped due to my blatant rebellion. Now, though, I was starting life again. I felt like a new Christian, and I dove enthusiastically into the Bible, daily prayer and church.
The seizures and brain disorder though, continued to plague me with a vengeance. Soon, in early summer of that year, I realized I was pregnant – out of wedlock, and I wasn’t even in a relationship with the baby’s father any longer. So now my body was not the only one being harmed by this cruel disorder.
Unknown to me however, God was working in my ex-husband’s heart around the same time, softening it and readying it for His will! Juan began to invite me to stay for dinner when I would drop the kids off from their short visit with me, and I humbly agreed, desperate for any extra time with my children. I remember one time, looking across his dining table at his handsome face, eating roasted chicken with rice with him and the kids, and feeling like the luckiest girl in the world! You see, by then I was completely broke, homeless, staying with “adopted family” and still jobless due to my disorder. I had been completely broken in a spiritual sense as well, but the humility came easy for me and with joy, as I was so grateful for the little things. Life had become about surviving, and time was a gift.
By the end of summer, Juan and I were back together again, and I was no longer homeless! I had so much time with my children, my belly was big with a healthy baby girl, and I was slowly recovering my self-esteem and faith walk. I had lost a good reputation, along with all my “friends” over the divorce and sickness. God’s restoration though, is beyond earthly standards, and over time, He restored all that was lost and more!
God was strategically placing the right people in my life, those that spoke life over me (Deut. 30:19-20 my life theme!) and taught me about faith and fear, life and death, curses and blessings…
AnaSophia, my symbol of God’s grace (Ana means grace), was born prematurely three days after Christmas in 2007. She was placed in NICU at four pounds some ounces, having difficulty breathing and eating. The beyond-grand mal seizure hit me a few days later, sending me into the worst experience yet, four days of coma in the ICU, with more days of recovery in the “crazy people ward” after that! I was getting real tired of this disease by now, as it was so debilitating to me and my family. They needed me even more now than ever before, as we were recovering as a family unit from the drama and pain of the last year and a half’s events.
The baby was released from the hospital a few days after I had recovered and come home, and we tried to start family life again. Two months later, I seized violently in the shower, waking up from that coma/recovery with a broken foot! One day at home, my adopted mom finally spoke out loud over my sickness, “That is enough, it’s just enough.” Instantly, something inside of me lept (I believe it was desperate faith!) and I began to mentally fight against the disorder and my previous acceptance of it as “punishment” from God.
Sometime in March 2008, while I was in church, the leaders anointed me with oil, and prayed over me for healing. One of them spoke up and said that God showed them I was harboring unforgiveness towards someone in my life. Faces flashed before me, as I remembered all the people who turned on me during the divorce, or bailed on me in the time I needed people the most. All of my family members had either turned their backs or directly fought against me for the past couple of years. I began to weep, as a desire to forgive them and truly move on began to come over me.
The next morning at home, I had a session with the best Counselor one could have, the Holy Spirit! I was praying intensely, prostrate on my office floor, about these recent things God was showing me. I heard the Spirit speak audibly, and he told me to get a piece of paper and write the names of those who had hurt or abandoned me, and pray individually over those names for total forgiveness from God for them. I could barely read some of the names, as I was crying so hard, feeling purified and fresh afterwards. Now I was ready for my healing!
The next week at church, the elders laid hands on me again, anointed me and prayed earnestly. The Pastor’s wife said “There is someone you still haven’t forgiven – yourself.” At that moment, I broke completely before the Lord, and wept, realizing she was right. As the Pastor prayed over me out loud, he suddenly commanded a spirit to leave in Jesus' Name, and I felt a large burden lift immediately, even as the Pastor said “There – It’s gone!!!” It was almost like a puff cloud of heaviness, and it went, poof! And was gone. I was healed, and I knew it. I began confessing the Word of God over myself, and over the previous stronghold of the sickness. I confessed Galatians 3:13, Psalm 103:2-5, Isaiah 53:4-5… There are so many!
In the following days, and then months, when I would feel a symptom coming on, I would say out loud, “Oh, no, Satan, don’t even think about it! I am healed, delivered and excited about it!!! You can’t touch this!” Then I would quote a Scripture to back it up! I even began to testify to others of my healing, especially when the fear of a seizure would try to return. I was on a journey to complete health, as I didn’t even get off the medication immediately. God was building my tender faith, honoring my naivette and carrying me through!
I am so beyond grateful to my Lord and Savior for the way he has touched me. I truly believe that His healing is for everyone, He says so in His Word. I tell this deeply personal story to encourage you in your faith walk! You are on your own journey with Him, and He cares deeply for you. To experience this incredible love that I get to experience daily, all you have to do is cry out to Him, ask Him to come near you!
What about your journey, do you have a powerful testimony of what he has done in your life? I would love to hear it! Do you have any questions about healing and what the Bible has to say about it? Feel free to share them with me, I love to talk about God’s Word! All the answers can be found there!
God bless you today.
By Bess Blanco
© 2011 Copyright – Kristine Mulholland