Gathering Together

Utterly Abandoned

 

I received a blow from you today
And in my heart I walked away
I turned to beside myself
To look in my eyes and clear the shelf--
That hidden space within the heart
Where tremors rock and teardrops start
My soul leaned in and whispered how...

How typical of me to sit and cry.
Bemoaning the day I believed the lie.
She then told tales of fractured dreams
And numerous other broken things:
A quiet November of shortened days,
The hush of rain as we part ways...
Till night called forth the harvest moon.
How I hope to reap the blessings soon!

Finally, said she with weary breath,
Rousing spirits speaking s death,
"The time has come to realize
Intertwined paths create our lives
Leading us through a valley's lows
Past many revolving or slamming doors.
Once you find your Beginning is at its end,
All that's left is to begin again.

Gird up your loins, cheer; steady your heart.
Face all your fear. Satisfy your part.
For each in this life has personal roles,
Tasks to complete and common goals.
This road you've travelled was all uphill;
But the road ahead is harder still.
Never mind the weight and all your trials
Dwelling serves to lengthen the miles.

For each ragged breath, she labored long
Her signature breaths unfolding my song.
The lines of which rubbed salt in wounds.
In agony, pled I for a joyous tune.
"Happily-ever-after is always good
With pieces falling as they should?"

But "No", said she with jaw line set
I clinched my own; my face was wet.
"Is this the most that could ever be,
Complicated paths of tragedy?!"
She'd aged a lifetime before the dawn.
Noting the lighting of the morn.

"The answers you seek will come in time
As everything else falls in line.
The night's far spent. A new day comes.
Look after yourself and your little ones.
My courage is spent. My strength--gone.
I'm departing now for my long home.
As the first ray pierced the garden's cool,
I glared at the mist like an impotent fool

By absent soul, I'm hallowed out
I must start over though I don't know how.
To lay my hand upon my chest
And vow to God to do my best
Took all the courage I could muster
As earthly life had lost its luster.
Can I survive without a vision.
Or smother too in indecision.

Broken. Banging. Bleeding.
Poor heart is all that's left.
Discerning. Despondent. Dejected.
Alas, I bowed and wept.


Monnie Roy-White