November 23rd, 2011
"Why me?" ~ Shari
"Because." ~ God
Job 3:25-26 ~ For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me. I was not in safety, neither had I rest, neither was I quiet; yet trouble came.
I have never been afflicted in the manner of Job, therefore I cannot even begin to understand what he must have felt like at this point in his life. I’ve not only not suffered his afflictions, I’ve never been nearly as good. Have I felt undeserved of a lot I was handed in life, of course! Did I whine about it, you bet! But in truth I’ve deserved worse. Job did not. God said he was righteous. I am made righteous only by the suffering and crucifixion of God’s Son.
Even though Job did everything he could to insure a right heart with God we see his confession in these verses that he too worried that something bad would happen. At times in my life I have been a habitual worrier; I’d worry if I didn’t have something to worry about. It’s a weapon of Satan to destroy our confidence in Christ. Job’s affliction was allowed by God to prove not only to Satan that Job would remain faithful, but that regardless of our circumstance God has a purpose.
When I was going through a harsh time in my life a few years ago and I felt as if my ministry was being attacked from every side, there were days that I had no Job characteristics. Though I never cursed God either, I questioned Him as to why I had to fight so hard to share the gospel. I was doing what God had asked me to do, yet I had to fight (with words) brothers and sisters in Christ and defend my reasoning. I never did understand how those who professed to be friends of the faith defended those who were offended by the Name of Christ. But they did. And I for a season was discouraged, but God had a purpose.
It was Satan’s intention for me to destroy my witness by getting upset with the unsaved people. I will confess there were times I was close. But before I ever crossed over to the dark side of resentment, God reminded me that they would never see Christ unless they seen Him in me. So I began to pray for them and it was not easy! I won’t deny that I sometimes wanted to pray, “Lord take them out.” But I did not. I may have prayed “Lord, shut them up,” a time or two. But even when I didn’t necessarily mean it, I prayed that God would bless them save their souls; and God would bless me with peace.
In the beginning of a trial, which is where Job is at, we cannot see God’s intended vision. But we will. The youth at the school seen me tried, and seen me true to the things of God. They did not see me perfect and never will. That trial tested me in ways I’d never been tested before, and the end result was that I was bolder and more confident in what God had asked me to do and more determined to stay on that path. Satan’s use of friends to attack me helped me to understand that everyone is vulnerable to him, even me.
by Shari Johnson